The Pain – Chapter 19

Abayomi watched the pain that etched Tina’s face as she looked lost in thought. She began to recount her story.

“I was a boarding house student and had just entered JSS 3. My best friends Kemi and Tutu had just become boarding students because of me. We were really excited that we were going to be together. I can’t really remember the exact time it started, but I noticed that the three of us seemed to be the all time favorite junior girls in school. Seniors, particularly the male seniors seemed to look out for us. We were pampered, which was very odd in comparison to how other juniors were being treated. I felt we were just being lucky and basked in all the attention. Unknown to me, the most popular senior boy at school at the time had taken interest in me. He warned everyone off me and started giving me gifts through my friends. I didn’t know this until much later. He was like a big brother to me. Eventually, his gifts were more direct and kind of intimate. My friends got so many goodies because of him. I was totally in love with him, like I loved my own brothers. I trusted him, and everyone knew that if they messed with me, they had him to answer to. It never crossed my mind that he had ulterior motives for his charitable acts towards me. This went on till my birthday that year.” she said as she clasped her hands tightly.

“I had turned 13 and my friends said they had a surprise for me later that evening. We all sneaked out of prep and made our way to the ‘surprise’. We got to a secluded area in our school and my friends told me to close my eyes and wait because my surprise would soon show up. I had been so excited that I didn’t notice when my friends crept away silently. It was until I realized everywhere was quiet that I knew something was very wrong. I opened my eyes to see Ugo and two other senior boys leering at me. I was shocked at the way he looked at me and my instincts to run kicked in. I didn’t make it far as they grabbed and gagged me to prevent my voice from being heard. The two other boys had some odd looking objects with them. As an adult now, I know they were sex toys. I tried to scream, I struggled, cried and begged them, but they didn’t budge. It was then that it dawned on me what they were about to do. My friends had sold me out and left me at their mercy. I don’t know if they did it knowingly because our friendship ended that day, and I never bothered to ask them. They then dragged me deeper into the secluded area they had prepared.” By this time, Tina was almost hyperventilating as the memories overwhelmed her.

Abayomi, who by then was sitting close to her, wrapped his arms round her. The mere thought of anyone touching her as she described sent his blood boiling in anger. He could not fathom how anyone could have done this to her.

“You don’t have to continue if it’s still too painful to share” he told her softly. “You can stop here for now” he said with his arms around her.

Tina shuddered as she replied “No please. Let me just continue.” She shook her head for emphasis. Abayomi nodded in encouragement as she continued. He was filled with dread as he knew where this was headed.

“Afterwards, they stripped me naked, tied me up and used the sex toys on me. It was the most painful experience ever. They touched me all over with no mercy. Afterwards, Ugo, who was obviously the ring leader raped me! The other boys wanted to as well, but he told them that I was his only. I remember hearing him say how he was finally getting what he paid for.” She said as tears ran down her face.

“Abayomi, they stole my virginity and innocence to satisfy their evil hearts” she said turning to look at Abayomi. Her eyes were filled with so much pain and anguish. “Why me? What did I do? How did they even conceive such an idea? And to think that they picked my birthday of all days to perpetuate their evil was even worse!” she lamented in between tears “At some point, I couldn’t react anymore as I just lay there waiting for it to be over. When they were through with me, they had the audacity to clean me up and dress me like nothing happened. They then threatened me. They told me not to tell anyone, that if I ever spoke up, no one would believe me, and that if I did, I was going to be punished for it”

“Abayomi, and I believed them! Everyone saw them as ‘good boys‘ because they were acting prefects. You can imagine the pain I felt whenever I saw them in school. I feel so stupid to have believed them because in all those years I could have gotten justice and maybe stopped them from doing the same to others. But instead, I allowed their words hold me down.” she wept. “I blocked that incident out of my mind and never dealt with it. But from time to time, I would have these overwhelming feelings of worthlessness and uselessness coupled with all sorts of nightmares, and I couldn’t talk to anybody about it! I kept it all in bottled up tightly inside me. The older I grew, the more ashamed of myself I felt. If not for the succor I found in my books, I honestly don’t know how I could have lived with myself after that incident.” she ended as she blew her nose

“I’m so sorry Tina” Abayomi whispered continuously as he rubbed her back and rocked her as she sobbed. His heart pounded hard in anger against his rib cage. He was so upset by all he had heard. He couldn’t imagine how teenagers could conceive that level of evil. No wonder she didn’t want to share because if the emotions her confession evoked in him were this intense, he could only imagine the pain she was going through. He felt like going back in time to undo the entire damage, or worse still, killing those boys. He wrapped her in his arms as the sobs racked her body.

When Tina’s sobs had subsided considerably, she gently extricated herself from Abayomi’s arms and said “So, with all you just heard, are you sure you still want to marry me?” she asked looking Abayomi in the eye.

“Of course!” Abayomi replied “Tina, when I told you how I felt about you months back, I meant every word. I love you very much. It does not matter what you went through. I’m here to stay and help you through it all. To be very honest, I did not expect to hear that you went through so much. Till now, I feel it’s a dream someone would wake me up from. I’m avery pained that a group of boys could conceive such evil, and do that to you.” He continued. “But beyond that, I feel honored and pleased that you told me. To that, I say ‘thank you‘. However, your past does not define you. What happened was not your own doing or fault, and it does not change my perception of you. Instead, I see you in a whole new light. You are a strong woman Tina. You are also amazing and extraordinary. I don’t want you to ever think otherwise of yourself.” he said. “Honestly, I feel like strangling those three guys with my bare hands” he added gruffly.

Tina smiled briefly at the way he sounded. “Do you know what the implication of marrying me would be? Because I had locked this part of me up for so long, I have to rediscover myself all over again and I’m not sure when or where that would be. What if this journey leads me to a place you don’t like, what happens then?” she asked.

“Then I follow you” he replied solemnly. “I don’t think you fully understand all I’ve been saying to you Tina. When I say that I love you, I mean it. If you give me the chance to prove myself, I would gladly do that. I’m fully prepared to help you through this journey of rediscovery. I give you my word.” he said.

Tina wiped her tears gently and beamed at him. “In that case, give me two months to sort things out. In those two months, let’s see how you make do with your promises.” she said. “I think it would be very unfair to both of us, especially you, if I’m just rediscovering myself in a relationship. It might kill any relationship even before it starts. Let’s see what happens in two months”

Abayomi’s heard sank as he heard her words. He knew she had a point, but he was very eager to hear her voice those words ‘yes, I will’. Even though he strongly knew she would eventually say ‘yes‘, he had assumed she would give him an answer that day. Patience, he heard in his spirit. Her request was a test of his love for her. He would have to wait.

“That’s okay. We have a deal.” he replied as they shook hands. “So, can we go to the feasting part now? I’m famished” he said jokingly as he tried to lighten the atmosphere. Tina laughed and got up to get him some refreshments.

Abayomi opened his bible on his phone to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and read:

Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].
Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].
1 Corinthians 13:4-8(AMPC)

He needed to meditate on these words because this thing with Tina would be very trying. He sighed as he leaned back his head against the couch and closed his eyes.