Meet The Mochiah’s

 

Today, the 7th of September, is my wedding anniversary! Yaayyy!! (dancing) lol! It’s been an amazing five (5) years, which is half a decade, wow! My heart is full of gratitude and joy for helping my husband and me through this beautiful journey.

To celebrate today, I’ve decided to write something about my marriage and share with you a very short interview I did with my husband this morning. I tried as much as possible to capture his words candidly without sugar-coating anything. I had told him earlier to be as real and truthful as he feels, and I guess that as you read through, you would attest to that.

Background Story

I met my husband (Mr. M for short) during my youth service (NYSC). We both served together in Imo State. He was a batch after me. I was the very first Batch C while he was the next Batch A. We were both very active in NCCF (Nigerian Christian Corper’s Fellowship): I was the state zonal coordinator for my local government while he was in the state central executive council as the state publicity secretary.

We were good friends and used to have lots of discussions, prayers etc with a group of friends we had met there. I remember this particular evening, we were having a discussion (as usual) about marriage with about two other people; after hearing him give his understanding about marriage from Ephesians 5:21-end (please read it), I just knew in my heart that this was the kind of man I wanted to marry (lol). Of course, that conversation opened up something in me that eventually led to us being married today. I guess one day, I will share more details. Watch out!

Nine (9) years as friends (and counting): four (4) years of courtship (yes, courtship! lol!) and five (5) years being married, it has been an awesome experience. I have learnt, and I’m learning so much on this journey. It is part of what has propelled me to write “The Love Bug Series”. Please, if you have not gone through it, or are not following, please do. It’s right here under categories. I have been pouring out from what God has opened my eyes to see in scriptures about relationships. Trust me, you would be better off for it.

Enjoy (winks)

Introduce yourself

My name is Tope. I am who I am. Husband of Ibukun, husband of one wife. (chuckling)

What do you like about me?

You’re my wife, I don’t have a choice but to like you. Just kidding! (laughing). You have a large heart, you are accommodating, friendly, kind and thoughtful.

Do you love me?

Sometimes (laughing). Most of the time (still laughing).

Love is a responsibility and I’ve learnt that responsibility. I love you all the time, but it doesn’t mean that I like what you do all the time. Same with you too. I know you love me, but not necessarily like what I do all the time. (still laughing)

Do I annoy you?

Sometimes. That’s normal isn’t it? (looks at me weirdly)

Have you been shocked by anything I’ve done so far in our marriage?

Eerrrmm… no!

How has the past 5 years been?

Interesting learning experience. Ups, downs… adventures, comfort of knowing you have someone journeying through with you. Some very awesome moments, but largely a learning experience and a good one at that.

What can you say has helped you be a good husband so far in our marriage?

Largely faith in God and the Holy Spirit. Realizing that my love must be in context of the love of God. For me, this has been expansive and has greatly accommodated my failings, thereby leaving room for me to develop. I have learnt to love and also be loved. I’ve learnt to recognize that there are things about me that are unpalatable that you put up with and likewise that I must be accommodating of things about me with the constant hope that we both would be better.

Would you attribute anything in our marriage to God?

The obvious answer is yes: from when we met till today, our victories, losses etc. God’s grace has been very overwhelming around us. So, yes in some sense and in every sense.

Any advice to intending and married couples? Please share.

I don’t think I have anything for anybody. (laughing). But off the top of my head, I would say that instead of looking for the perfect person, strive to be the perfect person. A lot of people go around looking for that perfect person without working on themselves at all. It doesn’t work that way. Also please, develop realistic expectations. Realize that you are dealing with a human being, not a check list.

Thanks for your time Mr. M

That’s all folks. Thanks for reading. I have so much more to share and talk about. I trust that some day, I would delve deeper. But perhaps you have questions or comments, please feel free to drop them here in the comments section. I will try my best to answer them all.

Cheers!