Sex, sex, sex… The very sound of it for a good number of people tickles something deep in them. The thought of experiencing intense pleasure with someone is so powerful that it can cause an individual to seek sexual release at almost any cost. This is the reality of so many people when they think of sex. Sex has the ability to hook whoever engages in it. Its grip is so strong that to let go usually is not easy. In a nutshell, sex is a very beautiful activity that can be addictive. Therefore, it is best not to engage in sex until the right time which is when you get married. Any sexual activity done outside a married man and his wife is a sin. It does not matter the societal trends or what has become normal as per world standards; God’s word regarding sex is the final authority. This means that as long as you are not married, having sex is sin.
When it comes to sex, your brain is the most powerful sexual organ. It has nothing to do with being a man or a woman as this applies to all humans. So the idea that men are moved by what they see and women by touch is not exactly true. Instead, all humans are moved by their physical senses – sight, smell, touch, taste and hearing, which is invariably connected to the brain. Therefore depending on what affects you more, whether you are a man or a woman, you are bound to be moved by one or more of these.
But I say to you that everyone who so much as looks at a woman with evil desire for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Matthew 5;28(AMPC)
God’s standard on sexual purity is very high. As you can see in the above scripture, a mere look with the wrong intent is seen as sin before God. This goes both ways as it is not limited to a man “looking lustfully” at a woman alone, but can also be a woman “looking lustfully” at a man. A good example in scriptures is the story of Joseph. In the case of Potiphar’s wife, she was the one who “looked” at Joseph lustfully. Her own response to sexual desire started from her sense of sight confirming that “looking lustfully” is not the exclusive right of men.
So Potiphar left all that he owned in Joseph’s charge; and with Joseph there he did not [need to] pay attention to anything except the food he ate. Now Joseph was handsome and attractive in form and appearance. Then after a time his master’s wife looked at Joseph with desire, and she said, “Lie with me.”
Genesis 39:6-7(AMP)
Having established all these, it is pretty clear that sex is a powerful reaction to someone you are physically attracted to. So when you are in a relationship, sexual attraction is bound to occur at one point or the other. This is normal and expected. However, God does not expect you to act on those feelings because doing so is sin. How then can you avoid sexual sins despite being sexually attracted to your partner?
Run away from sexual immorality [in any form, whether thought or behavior, whether visual or written]. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the one who is sexually immoral sins against his own body.
1 Corinthians 6:18(AMP)
The only way to avoid sexual sin in your relationship is to FLEE! Just like Joseph did with Potiphar’s wife, so should you do as well. When you’re with that person you love and are attracted to, do not let your guard down by assuming you are strong enough to withstand any temptation. God’s prescription is to run away! Ironically, you cannot always run away from that person you are in a relationship with. Here are a few practical tips you can do to avoid falling into sexual sins:
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Determine not to fall into sexual sin. This is the first step. With this resolve and God’s help, this is achievable.
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Establish guiding rules and boundaries in your relationship. Agree and determine what is acceptable and not acceptable and work with it. Anything sexual in nature, please avoid!
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As much as possible, meet at open places or where others can easily see you. Staying cooped up alone in the name of privacy is the perfect condition to breed sexual tension and ultimately sexual sin. Never overestimate your self control skills. Trust me, God’s recommendation to flee sexual immorality is the best instruction on this matter.
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Guard your heart. Proverbs 4:23 says Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life. In a world where sexual perversion is the order of the day, you need to deliberately watch what you permit into your mind. Remember how powerful your brain is in sexual activity. If you can succeed in putting only the right things in you, the possibility of falling into sexual sin would be reduced.
Lastly, if you have fallen into sexual sin at one point or the other, you need not feel left out. As long as you have repented before God, follow through with God’s standard on sexual purity. Above all, you need to deliberately renew your mind with God’s word. Doing this would help your mind be directed in the right direction such that immoral thoughts give way to godly thoughts. Your body and that of your partner is precious before God – preserve it! Staying away from sexual sins would help you build the right foundation for your marriage.
Thank you so much for following me through this series.