Marriage is big commitment and a lot of hard work. I am blessed to have entered marriage with my eyes wide open. I guess my husband did so too (lol). Today, we are celebrating six (6) years of being married to each other and I can attest that this has been an interesting journey.
A lot of married people usually celebrate the good and sweet side of marriage. We make it seem like marriage is a simple walk in the park where we can have sex as long as we want, kiss and cuddle, go out on dates and just generally goof around puppy eyed. I am sorry, but those things are the most fickle components of marriage. They are like the icing used to decorate a piece of cake – beautiful, sweet, and presentable. If the cake itself is not good, the icing can never compensate.
As we celebrate our six years marriage anniversary, I would be sharing on the ugly side of marriage. Please note that I am still learning on this journey. Neither myself nor Mr. M are perfect. I have his permission to be quite open about our shortcomings and I hope you learn one or two things from us.
Well, this was the answer Mr. M gave me while trying to interview him. He had a lot on his mind and definitely was not ready for this. No hard feelings because I am more mature now. (lol!) I now get upset over more tangible things. My prayer is that one day, I don’t get upset at all. Lol!
Six years of marriage has taught me and Mr. M patience! I can be very stubborn and mouthy when I choose to. He on the other hand can be very stubborn but quiet and introspective. The former me would have been so upset by the above statement because I had constantly reminded him of my plan to have for this interview for months. I would have nagged him till he answered me or got into an altercation. But one thing marriage has helped me achieve is emotional maturity in various areas. As my marriage has been growing, we have been maturing in love and understanding. I am also learning to overlook a lot of things. We now pick our “fights” and work around our idiosyncrasies and weaknesses.
One major issue we have been facing in our marriage is “communication” in certain aspects. I later came to realize that this is a big deal in a lot of marriages. When I say something, Mr. M hears something else. He says A, I hear Y and Z. It then becomes a grueling task to resolve the miscommunication. Voices are raised, more words are misconstrued, one becomes quiet while the other reads V, W, X into the silence, and generally, our emotions get all over the place. I’ve had moments where I’ve been so upset that I felt like just saying something extremely hurtful. Mr. M has also become so upset that he feels the same. Sometimes, we both slip and say hurtful things in that heated moment of fellowship. At other times, our emotions just burn out. These moments are ugly, painful and can be hell. Yet, we have to show our happy side for propriety’s sake. Say cheese… 😀😁
Another issue is time! I’m a night person while Mr. M is a morning person. This causes a lot of friction considering that we work together. Mr. M cannot fathom how any sane person would still be awake till 2am and wake up very late. I on the other hand cannot understand why he is starts sleeping the moment he gets home at night. To get him to eat after all my kitchen hustle is sometimes a struggle; and he is up as early as 4am!!! Why??? For the life of me, I cannot deal… lol! Plus the days I have to wake up super early usually leads to all sorts of issues that sometimes leaves us upset for a good part of the day.
Through these all, I have learnt to forgive and let go of every pain, bitterness and resentment these moments have brought me. Mr. M has equally learnt the same. We both love each other very much and can now see that the test of love is not in those happy, calm moments, but in those intense, upsetting and hurtful moments.
I have learnt to pray more in the spirit (literally) especially when I know we are about entering another “intense fellowship” (lol!). Mr. M has learnt to be more submissive to God when his head is “hot” and the words he intends to spill out from those angry quiet introspective moments could crush my spirit.
I am learning to be silent and not let my emotions rule me. Mr. M is learning to express his feelings and thoughts more and not just react to me based on his assumptions. So many things we have both learning.
It has indeed been an interesting journey. I am gradually getting God’s plan for marriage – to prune, test, improve, mould, shape, break etc both parties till they truly become ONE. I can confidently say that I am a better and upgraded version of who I used to be. I also know (from testimonies of his friends and even family) that Mr. M’s story is the same.
We are taking each day one at a time and allowing God work in us and through us. We are working on understanding each other better, praying more for one another, loving each other more, and just accepting one another so as to fulfill God’s plans for us. The process may be painful at times, but we know we need it to bring out the gem in us. We are especially grateful that we are married to each other and that God has given us the grace to do this journey together.
Despite the pain in this journey, I am also grateful for the many joyous moments I cannot recount. I love you very much Mr. M. I’ve done 10 years with you as your friend and 6 years with you as your wife. We have roughly 94 years to go babe😎
Happy wedding anniversary to us. This year, we are 3!💃💃💃
38 Responses
Awwww, beautiful story. God is Faithful. Thanks for sharing. May God continue to bless your union in Jesus name, Amen.
Thanks so much sis. Amen!
I admire you more darling sister.
You have done marvellously well by sharing your experiences. You are a courageous daughter of Zion who do not live a pretentious life like many Christian homes today.
This story is a great blessings to many to learn from your resolution to both give in to the Word of God and allow the Holy Spirit.
The Greater one who is in you and working through you will make your home heaven on earth and union sweetened by the Lord Jesus Himself.
More of God’s celebrations in your home in Jesus name.
Amen and amen. Wow! Thank you so much ma.
This is so beautiful… Thank you ma
You’re welcome. Thank you too for reading.
Happy wedding anniversary to you, Mr. & Mrs. Mochiah.
“I am gradually getting God’s plan for marriage – to prune, test, improve, mould, shape, break etc both parties till they truly become ONE.”
It means that becoming ‘ONE’ is a process and not a one-off event.
I am truly blessed by this revelation.
Thanks so much Bro. I’m glad you were blessed. My regards to your family.
I love the openness and genuineness. My marriage will be 7 years tomorrow and like I say, its not an easy ride. We are all Work in Progress, may God continue to give us wisdom and guide our paths. Congratulations and wishing you more bliss.
Thank you and amen. Happy wedding anniversary in advance to you too. We all learn daily especially in our marriages. May your marriage age like fine wine, amen.
Happy anniversary ma, uve thru this prepared my mind to the journey of marriage
You’re welcome 🤗 I’m glad it did
Congratulations on your anniversary! From glory to glory!
Thank you sir. Amen!
Lovely. Happy wedding anniversary. More joyous years together in Jesus name
Amen! Thank you very much.
Wow wow wow. 7 years on and I can just relate to everything you’ve described.
Marriage is a school you never graduate from because you keep learning.
Wishing you and Mr M. more blissful years in God’s love.
Amen! Thanks for the feedback. Yes! It’s an ever learning journey.
Thank you for being real Ibukun. This is rare. Happy Wedding Anniversary dear
Awnnnnn. This blessed me😍😍😍😍
🤗😄👏I’m glad it did.
Awesome 💯
🤗
Thank you so much for this story and information and thank you so much for sharing.
Many more beautiful Years in Jesus name. Amen.
God bless you.
You’re welcome sis. Thank you too!
Can so relate! 😍Great👏🏽. One thing I have realized about marriage is that it’s a learning journey, you have to appreciate the person you are becoming and consciously work on your relationship.Nothing should be taken for granted. Communication is key and no assumptions. Patience and a decision to stay together must be mutual from day 1. This is important to overcome the rough times together. When you are friends too, it’s much easier. 😍😍😍
Very true! The beautiful thing about it all is that we keep learning and getting better along the journey. Thanks for the feedback.
Soooooo inspiring,infact an encouraged to put up some positive virtues. Thanks for been open minded,God bless ur home
Thank you too and you’re welcome. Amen.
Soo inspiring. Infact av been encouraged to put up some positive virtues. Thanks for been open minded. God bless ur home sis
This is a great one. Not many are real about marriage. Many post lovely pictures and create an impression of a faultless marriage, but believe me posts like this one will help a lot of struggling couples. God bless your heart. Keep up the good work.
Happy wedding anniversary!!!
Thank you very much for the feedback and compliments. I totally agree with you. The reality of marriage needs to be shared more often. Lol
Wonderful piece… I’m learning🤔
Thank you!
Super beautiful. That was helpful
Thank you. I’m glad it was.
Awwww 🥰 beautiful!!!! Ibukun this is soooo apt
Thank you for sharing. I can relate on some things here but above all I pick Patience and Forgiveness. These two!!! Hmmm no words at all.
Happy wedding anniversary 💥💝 God bless your home. Senior!!! 🥰
Aawww… Thank you very much. I’m glad you learnt those things. 😂@senoir