The Pain – Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Motun yawned contently as she watched Abayomi covertly. She had put her plan underway and was watching to see Abayomi’s reaction.

Abayomi pretended to look through his phone as he sipped his orange juice. He was aware of every move Motun made and he knew she was watching him. She had just changed the dynamics of their relationship by her actions. It was true that his desire to date her years back was what led him to Christ; however, the moment he made his decision to follow Christ, he realized that what he felt for her was pure ungodly lust which God had totally delivered him from. In fact, he had sought God’s face on the matter and he knew then that it wasn’t meant to develop further. Since then, he had grown to love her like a sister. He had assumed that over the years, she had grown to love him like a brother too. He was obviously wrong. Everything she had been doing in the past few years suddenly came into perspective and became very clear. Apparently, most of her acts of love were subtle hints of her feelings towards him which he never picked. He was now at loss as to how to deal with this because he cherished their friendship and couldn’t imagine what this meant for them.

He cleared his throat, looked up straight into Motun’s eyes and asked “Do you love me Motun?” There was no need beating around the bush when it came to her. It was one of the things he loved and respected about her.

Her eyes widened as she opened her mouth in shock. Oh No! This isn’t what I wanted she thought. All she wanted was to throw in a subtle hint for him to view her differently. She never meant to be called out like this. She suddenly felt very embarrassed as she tried to find the right words to reply him.

“Yes, I do” she replied quietly trying to read him. Her hands were propped against the table in a bid to appear calm. Her entire insides had turned to mush. She didn’t want to lose Abayomi neither did she want things to turn awkward between them. Too late she thought.

“You are the kind of man I have prayed for” she continued.

“Motun” Abayomi said as he held her hands in his. “We have been very good friends for a long tome now and it has never occurred to me that you felt this way” He said looking intently into her eyes “Our friendship is a unique and special one and it means a lot to me. I honestly don’t know what to say to you without hurting your feelings” he said searching her face for any reactions.

“Just let me know if the feeling is mutual” Motun said removing her hands from his. She suddenly felt drained, tense and sad. She knew that this marked the end of a very beautiful relationship between them. Things were bound to get awkward between them from then on.

“I do love you, but not the way you want me to” Abayomi answered her. “I’ve closed that chapter with you years ago when I followed you to church back in Uni”. He continued “After I got saved, I got my convictions from God and it is what has helped our friendship to blossom and develop. I’m so sorry if I led you on. It was never my intention”.

“No, don’t blame yourself please” She replied. “I should have known better than to assume. I’ve watched your spiritual growth and journey, and I’ve come to admire your walk with God.” she said. “I can’t help my feelings towards you Abayomi. I love you, and I say that with no apology.” she continued. “I’m glad this came out though, so we know where we both stand. However, I am so sorry for introducing awkwardness into our relationship. I know it won’t be the same between us anymore” she ended as she picked up her purse and slipped her phone into it. “We’ve had a beautiful time, I think we should call it a night” she said as she smiled sadly at him.

“Motunrayo, we don’t have to let this end this way, you know?” Abayomi said as he tried to keep her from leaving. “This doesn’t have to end our relationship. We can work something out. You are my best friend!” he said exasperatedly.

“I know. But it is necessary that we to give each other some time off. I particularly need it after tonight” Motun chuckled nervously. “For instance, I think you have some feelings towards Tina.” She smiled sadly as Abayomi looked at her in shock. “Hey, don’t look so surprised. Since your birthday, you’ve hardly stopped talking about her. You’ve visited her so often that I’ve lost count. And even when we are together, you have a way of routing discussions back to her.” she said. “With today’s revelation in the mix, I think you need to sort yourself out as well. I’ve not seen you this excited about any woman before.” she ended as she took in a gulp of water; she needed to steady her nerves.

Abayomi sat stupefied as he let her words sink in. I really have it bad with Tina he thought. She had a point, and it was best he sorted things out first. He knew he had hurt her by rejecting her love, but there was nothing he could do about it. Was he that obvious with Tina? He hadn’t even figured out what it was with her yet and he was already so obvious. He sighed loudly as he kept thinking of how his life just took a dynamic turn.

“I guess you’re right. I hope when we sort things out, we would still be very good friends” Abayomi said as he smiled at Motun who replied him with a smile. Abayomi signaled to the waiter to bring their bill.

Abayomi got home that night and couldn’t sleep. He spent over an hour praying in tongues. His thoughts and emotions were in a turmoil. He couldn’t imagine losing Motun’s friendship, and at the same time, his feelings for Tina were scaring him. How was he going to sort this out?

At home, Motun lay in bed feeling drained and sore. She wished she could turn back the hands of time. But she was too late. Lord, this pain is so much. Help me! she prayed silently in tears. She had just lost years of awesome friendship because of her emotions.